Top 5 embarrassing sex moments

Sex in the movies is always so perfect. They slip out of their clothes with enviable grace and speed. No one ever bumps heads going in for that long-awaited kiss. Sex looks more like a choreographed dance than anything most of us have ever been involved in.

 

 

Whether you’re having hot sex or romantic sex or “distance has made the heart grow fonder” sex, even if it’s great sex, it can sometimes be marked with less than sexy or, let’s face it, downright red-face inducing moments.

 

 

The good news is – most of the time anyway – no one’s watching. So, no one has to be the wiser. And, obviously, you’re already intimate with your partner in crime. So, it should be easy enough to simply laugh about it and move on.

 

 

Still, in the heat of the moment, there are a few things that can be pretty embarrassing no matter how easygoing you are. Here are the top seven embarrassing things that have a habit of happening at the worst possible time and some tips on how to save the moment.

 

 

1. Fumbling a position – If you’ve ever checked out the Kama Sutra (or, better yet, if you’ve ever tried it out) you can see how this could easily happen. It can sometimes get like a good old-fashioned game of Twister. Left foot red. Right hand yellow. Right foot blue. You get the idea. So if you happen to muck things up and fall to the ground or crush your partner, or other embarrassing options, just chalk it up to experience. And, whatever you do, don’t allow it to stop you from trying it again another time. You know what they say about practice.

 

 

2. Getting caught – It happens. Could be your kids had a bad dream or, worse – your mother-in-law is in town and cannot seem to remember that the guest room is the second door on the left. The thing is, once you get caught in the act, there isn’t much you can do except to laugh about it. Your mother-in-law should know what you’re up to and depending on your kid’s ages they may very well know, too. If not, this could turn out to be an excellent teachable moment once you get your pajamas back on and the little ones back in bed.

 

 

3. Falling asleep – It happens. Not all sex is rough and rowdy. Sometimes it’s sexy and soft and sweet. So, drifting off in a pleasure-induced haze is not an uncommon occurrence. But that doesn’t make it any less embarrassing. Should your sweetie happen to wake you up from such a slumber looking less than happy about your signing out, there’s not much you can do but apologize and assure him or her that it was bliss that did it, and it has nothing to do with performance.

 

 

4. ‘The wet spot’ – It’s almost inevitable. But that doesn’t mean that anyone has to have the unpleasant experience of unexpectedly rolling into it. If you do, try not to make too big a deal of it, lest you embarrass your partner. Instead, use it as an excuse to snuggle up together in dry safety. And it wouldn’t hurt to keep a dry soft towel handy to cover up just such a spot just in case.

 

 

5. Vaginal flatulence – Commonly referred to as a queef, is exactly what it sounds like and should be handled just like its evil twin, passing gas. A queef is generally odorless. (If not, see a doc as this can denote a serious medical condition). Chances are though, that the issue is simply a matter of too much air being rapidly forced into the woman’s body necessitating its expulsion.

 

 

Sex doesn’t usually end up working the way it does in the movies and sometimes things go astray. But who cares? The important thing is how you recover. As long as no one’s feelings are hurt, you have to figure no harm, no foul. A bruised ego isn’t always such a bad thing to have to recover from.

So whether it’s leaving a mark on your partner that you don’t discover until that dinner party with the new neighbors, or looking up to see your two Golden Retrievers taking in all the fun, it’s a small price to pay. Besides, enjoying a good laugh with your partner is often the second best part of getting frisky together.