Two pathways to women's pleasure

It’s a mystery to many men and a source of frustration to many women. Now a study of the brain is helping scientists to unlock the secrets of the female orgasm.

By using scanners to observe which parts of a woman’s brain become active when they are aroused, researchers have discovered there are at least two ‘pathways to pleasure’.

One of them activates when a woman is alone and fantasising with the help of imagination. The other kicks into action when she is being physically stimulated by a lover.

The findings, revealed in the New Scientist, have come from two research studies. A U.S. study of solo female volunteers, led by Dr Barry Komisaruk at Rutgers University in New Jersey, analysed MRI scans of women reaching climax to investigate the role of imagination and ‘top-down control’ in triggering a physiological response.

It found heightened activity in more than 30 parts of the brain, including the prefrontal cortex, an area which controls functions such as decision-making, controlling urges and imagination.

In contrast, when Janniko Georgiadis and colleagues at the University of Groningen in Holland performed similar experiments observing women being stimulated by a partner, they found that the same brain region ‘switched off’ during orgasm.

This suggests that an orgasm is achieved with a partner when the woman ‘lets go’ and reaches an ‘altered state of consciousness’. An inability to do this may prevent women from reaching climax. Mr Georgiadis said: ‘I don’t think orgasm turns off consciousness but it changes it. When you ask people how they perceive their orgasm, they describe a feeling of a loss of control.’

The studies together indicate women’s brains have alternative pathways for experiencing sexual pleasure according to whether they are alone or with a lover. Mr Georgiadis added: ‘It is possible there is a difference between someone trying to mentalise sexual stimulation as opposed to receiving it from a partner.’

Scientists believe that further study of the orgasm – and the role of the prefrontal cortex – could help women who have difficulty reaching climax.

And Dr Komisaruk hopes more research will offer a valuable insight into how we might use thought to control other physical sensations, such as pain.

Attempts have been made to carry out similar studies on men, but have been hampered by technical problems. Male orgasms are much shorter and few women will be surprised to discover that men use their brain less during sex.

Top 5 embarrassing sex moments

Sex in the movies is always so perfect. They slip out of their clothes with enviable grace and speed. No one ever bumps heads going in for that long-awaited kiss. Sex looks more like a choreographed dance than anything most of us have ever been involved in.

 

 

Whether you’re having hot sex or romantic sex or “distance has made the heart grow fonder” sex, even if it’s great sex, it can sometimes be marked with less than sexy or, let’s face it, downright red-face inducing moments.

 

 

The good news is – most of the time anyway – no one’s watching. So, no one has to be the wiser. And, obviously, you’re already intimate with your partner in crime. So, it should be easy enough to simply laugh about it and move on.

 

 

Still, in the heat of the moment, there are a few things that can be pretty embarrassing no matter how easygoing you are. Here are the top seven embarrassing things that have a habit of happening at the worst possible time and some tips on how to save the moment.

 

 

1. Fumbling a position – If you’ve ever checked out the Kama Sutra (or, better yet, if you’ve ever tried it out) you can see how this could easily happen. It can sometimes get like a good old-fashioned game of Twister. Left foot red. Right hand yellow. Right foot blue. You get the idea. So if you happen to muck things up and fall to the ground or crush your partner, or other embarrassing options, just chalk it up to experience. And, whatever you do, don’t allow it to stop you from trying it again another time. You know what they say about practice.

 

 

2. Getting caught – It happens. Could be your kids had a bad dream or, worse – your mother-in-law is in town and cannot seem to remember that the guest room is the second door on the left. The thing is, once you get caught in the act, there isn’t much you can do except to laugh about it. Your mother-in-law should know what you’re up to and depending on your kid’s ages they may very well know, too. If not, this could turn out to be an excellent teachable moment once you get your pajamas back on and the little ones back in bed.

 

 

3. Falling asleep – It happens. Not all sex is rough and rowdy. Sometimes it’s sexy and soft and sweet. So, drifting off in a pleasure-induced haze is not an uncommon occurrence. But that doesn’t make it any less embarrassing. Should your sweetie happen to wake you up from such a slumber looking less than happy about your signing out, there’s not much you can do but apologize and assure him or her that it was bliss that did it, and it has nothing to do with performance.

 

 

4. ‘The wet spot’ – It’s almost inevitable. But that doesn’t mean that anyone has to have the unpleasant experience of unexpectedly rolling into it. If you do, try not to make too big a deal of it, lest you embarrass your partner. Instead, use it as an excuse to snuggle up together in dry safety. And it wouldn’t hurt to keep a dry soft towel handy to cover up just such a spot just in case.

 

 

5. Vaginal flatulence – Commonly referred to as a queef, is exactly what it sounds like and should be handled just like its evil twin, passing gas. A queef is generally odorless. (If not, see a doc as this can denote a serious medical condition). Chances are though, that the issue is simply a matter of too much air being rapidly forced into the woman’s body necessitating its expulsion.

 

 

Sex doesn’t usually end up working the way it does in the movies and sometimes things go astray. But who cares? The important thing is how you recover. As long as no one’s feelings are hurt, you have to figure no harm, no foul. A bruised ego isn’t always such a bad thing to have to recover from.

So whether it’s leaving a mark on your partner that you don’t discover until that dinner party with the new neighbors, or looking up to see your two Golden Retrievers taking in all the fun, it’s a small price to pay. Besides, enjoying a good laugh with your partner is often the second best part of getting frisky together.

 

First time sex tips for novices

“Well begun is half done”, if you stick to this note when it comes to having sex then it will definitely help you in the long run. So, it is better to seek some bedroom tips from you agony aunt and be the conqueror in the bed.

 

Here are few kinky tips for the freshers who are willing to pop their cherry.

 

Protection

 

Safe sex is not optional - it's essential. And the only way to be sure that it is safe is to plan your protection in advance. Never assume that your partner has condoms and contraceptive pills , always carry your own things and play safe.

 

Don't think that being on the pill counts as protection. Sure, it will prevent you from getting pregnant but it won't provide protection against STIs. If there's even an inkling that you're going to be having sex in the near future, buy your condoms now.

 

You only pop your cherry once so it's important you do it for you and not anybody else. Otherwise, it's less likely to be a pleasant experience and more likely one you'll regret in the future.

 

Will it hurt?

 

Experiencing a bit of discomfort the first time you have sex is quite common. This is often down to lack of arousal, which can be a knock-on effect of nerves.

 

When you're turned on, the vaginal canal lengthens and expands to accommodate your man's penis. You also produce natural lubrication, which prevents uncomfortable friction from his thrusting. Being nervous, on the other hand, can cause your vaginal muscles to tighten, making penetration more difficult.

 

1. Advanced planning

 

We're not suggesting you draw up a timeline and an itinerary here - there is certainly a lot to be said for spontaneity. But likewise, setting the scene can really help to put you in the mood. Choose a time when you know you're not going to be disturbed by your housemates, switch your phone off, tidy your room, put on some clean sheets and don't be caught out wearing those off-white holey knickers.

 

2. Foreplay

 

Don't rush in with the attitude of "getting it over with". Instead, take your time and indulge in lots of foreplay first. Focus on how great your man is making you feel and try to take it one moment at a time without worrying about what's ahead. Let the arousal build to a frenzy before you let him enter you. And if you still feel as though nerves might be inhibiting your natural lubrication, keep a tube of lube to hand to help him slide in easily. Make it part of your foreplay by having him lube you, then return the favour and apply it to his condom-covered erection right before he enters you.

 

3. Slow and sensual

 

Once he's inside you, take it nice and slowly and continue to engage in lots of kissing and caressing. You don't want him thrusting at full pelt. There's plenty of time for that further down the line. Don't be afraid to speak up and tell him what feels good, and importantly, what doesn't. Remember he has insecurities too, so gently tell him, "A little slower" or "Not so hard," but remember to encourage him too with a few "Ahhh, yes, right there", "That feels amazing" etc.

Why sex is good for you

When it comes to sex, there’s no other month like August.

Lingerie retailer Ann Summers reported a 40 per cent rise in sales last August as shoppers took advantage of the holiday period to boost their sex lives.

Meanwhile, researchers from Boston State Hospital in the U.S. have found that summer sun at least doubles levels of the sex hormone testosterone, boosting a flagging libido.

This is thought to be because the sun’s rays trigger vitamin D production, which in turn boosts production of the hormone.

And if another excuse is needed, it’s well known that sex burns calories — just this week a survey found that 87 per cent of women named sex as their favourite way to exercise (shopping came second).
But there are many other benefits, too. Here some of the country’s leading experts reveal some little-known facts about why sex is good for your health.


IT’S A GOOD WAY TO TEST YOUR EYES

Sex relaxes the muscles and alleviates neck and shoulder tension, says Dr Arun Ghosh, a GP specialising in sexual health at the Spire Liverpool Hospital. And surprisingly, it might also tell you whether you need glasses.

‘I’ve had patients complain of poor vision after sex. What’s happened is that, like all the other muscles in the body, their eye muscles have relaxed and are performing at their true ability, rather than straining and squinting as they would normally.’

So if your sight goes blurry after sex, it’s worth going for an eye tes

IT PROTECTS AGAINST HEART DISEASE
Sex can have a protective effect on the heart. A study at Queen’s University in Belfast found that having sex three times a week could halve the risk of heart attack or stroke.
Another study in Israel found that women who had two orgasms a week were up to 30 per cent less likely to have heart disease than those who didn’t enjoy sex or didn’t orgasm.

Dr Lisa Turner, a sex and relationship therapist, says: ‘One theory is that  these women may have felt depressed, which has been linked with an increased risk of a heart attack.

'The endorphins released during sex also neutralise the stress hormones in the body, which are linked to heart disease.’

And the old cliche of sex causing heart attacks?

‘It’s a very low risk — it accounts for less than 1 per cent of all deaths,’ says Dr Graham Jackson, consultant cardiologist at the London Bridge Hospital and chairman of the Sexual Advice Association.
However, if you’re over 50, overweight and unfit, there is a risk to your heart — just as there would be if you suddenly and vigorously took up any form of exercise.

‘What also increases the risk is extra-marital affairs, and this has been proven by three large studies,’ says Dr Jackson.

‘In fact, this accounts for 75 per cent of heart-related deaths from sex, 90 per cent of which are older men. It’s thought the combination of high-fat foods and alcohol — wining and dining — combined with vigorous exercise, often with a younger partner, is what tends to trigger the heart event.’

IT’LL STRENGTHEN YOUR BONES
U.S. research found menopausal women who had sex every week had oestrogen levels twice as high as their abstaining counterparts.

The hormone has a protective effect in bone health and a lack of it after the menopause has been linked with osteoporosis.

‘Regular sex increases the production of oestrogen,’ says Dr Peter Bowen-Simpkins of the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists.

IT MAKES YOU MORE FERTILE

‘I’m often asked whether penis length affects fertility and the good news is no,’ says Dr Ghosh.
But the amount of sex you have  is important. The more often you make love, the better quality your sperm will be.

‘If you’re trying to conceive, you need the sperm to be as fresh as possible — not stuff that’s been sitting in the prostate for three or four days,’ he adds.
IT STAVES OFF  PROSTATE CANCER

Researchers at Nottingham University have found that men who enjoy a regular sex life in their 50s are at lower risk of developing prostate cancer. ‘Clearing the prostate out regularly is the reason behind this,’ says Dr Ghosh.

‘The link was suggested after research showed that monks appear to have a higher chance of developing prostate cancer.’

IT’LL HELP YOU  QUIT SMOKING

Here's a simple way to get your man to kick his smoking habit — remind him that it causes the penis to shrink and can cause impotence.

Erections are all about good blood flow, and lighting up worsens blood flow to the spongy tissues in the penis, says Raj Persad, consultant urological surgeon at Bristol Royal Infirmary.

‘As a result, they become starved of oxygen and the delicate cells die away. They then become fibrotic — forming scar tissue — which is less elastic and less able to expand during an erection than regular healthy tissue.’

Smoking is also a known cause of erectile dysfunction as it causes hardening of the arteries and hampers good blood flow.

A study of more 7,000 Chinese men, published in the American Journal of Epidemiology, found that the more cigarettes smoked a day, the higher the risk of impotence.

IT’S A NATURAL SEDATIVE

For a man, a powerful orgasm is the equivalent of having a 2-3mg shot of diazepam (or Valium), says Dr Ghosh.

‘And diazepam works as a muscle relaxant which is why so many men nod off after finishing — there really is a biological reason.’

Brook beats Lopez in bikini body

Bikini season usually sees women everywhere dust off their exercise DVDs and dive headfirst into the latest crash diet. But when it comes to the ideal figure, it seems curves and an ample posterior win the day.
In a poll, both men and women said Kelly Brook had the best bikini body of a range of celebrities. The 31-year-old actress and model is famed for her hour-glass figure Jennifer Lopez, almost as well known for her rear as her singing abilities, was in second place, seeing off more willowy rivals.

And if the importance of the posterior was in any doubt, Pippa Middleton, whose derriere gained global attention at the royal wedding, was third in the survey of 2,000 people by Gillette Venus.

This was largely down to the male vote, who placed her as their second favourite.
Women excluded ‘Her Royal Hotness’ from their top three in favour of her more slender sister Kate.
Behavioural psychologist Donna Dawson said: ‘Kelly Brook’s perfectly symmetrical statistics of 34-24-34 give her a waist-to-hip ratio of 0.7, which falls within the deemed optimum range for female attractiveness in Western society.

‘She wins with women because her curvy shape represents a figure women can attain, and for men her hour-glass shape communicates good health to the primordial male brain.’

Miss Brook has said that diets ‘bore’ her, adding: ‘I’m not a gym bunny, I hardly ever go. I’m not a skinny girl but, luckily, it goes to all the right places.’

Ten ways to relieve stress

Here’s a list of some of the most effective natural stress reducers.

1. Passionflower

While passionflower has long been considered a “folk remedy” for anxiety and insomnia, a few studies have shown that the herb may actually be comparable in effectiveness to benzodiazepine drugs, which are used to treat stress. Though not proven, it is believed that passionflower works by increasing levels of a chemical called gamma-aminobutyric acid (GABA) in the brain. This lowers the activity of some brain cells, making you feel more relaxed.

Passionflower is available in a variety of forms, including infusions, teas, liquid extracts and tinctures. It is not recommended for children or for women who are pregnant or nursing. Consult your doctor before adding it to your diet, especially if you are taking other medications.

2. Massage

This is kind of a no-brainer, right? Everybody loves a massage. But did you know that it’s been used as a stress reliever for thousands of years? Historically, the Chinese used massage to open blocked energy channels in order to improve health and Hippocrates, the “father of western medicine,” used friction for physical healing treatments. Today, we use massage to relax tense muscles, reduce pain and improve circulation, which can all do wonders for the mind.

3. Meditation

Meditation, or mindfulness, only takes 15 to 30 minutes a day, which is possible even in a packed schedule. It’s also incredibly affordable, considering the only tool you need is your own mind. Just give yourself some silent time to let your thoughts run free or just focus on your breathing. That small amount of peace in your day can help you deal with or even release stress.

4. Exercise

Whether it’s yoga, Tai Chi or running, exercise works much in the same way as meditation because it gives you the time to be alone with your thoughts (or an opportunity to let them go). However, exercise also has the added benefit of releasing endorphins into the brain, which improves your mood. It also prevents obesity and other health problems, giving you less to be stressed about.

5. Organize your life

Organization offers a sense of control and peace of mind, and there’s a number of ways you can improve in this regard. If you’re the kind of person who’s always running around, it can help to make lists so that you remember everything. If you’re the kind of person who feels edgy in their own house, tidy up. Studies have shown the mere sight of clutter can put us on edge.

6. Eat healthy

It’s actually been proven that junk food can make us depressed (not to mention fat) so clean up your diet. Healthy foods like whole grains and protein can improve your mood and give you long-lasting energy to tackle everything that comes your way during the day. Foods that are especially effective for stress-busting include blueberries, salmon and almonds, according to scientists.

Also, put down that extra cup of coffee. While studies have shown that some coffee during the day can offer health benefits, too much caffeine will make you jittery and anxious, and eventually lead to a crash.

7. Limit Internet and cellphone use

Disconnect, disconnect, disconnect. Part of the problem with reducing stress in today’s world is that we are never truly able to shield ourselves from it. By turning away from the Internet and shutting off our cellphones, we can at least block some of the channels from which stress can reach us. Doing this also allows us to live in the moment and appreciate it.

It is particularly important to cut off electronic use before sleep, which can cut down on insomnia-related problems.

8. B Vitamins

B vitamins are known to promote proper functioning of the brain and nervous system, as well as help induce relaxation and fight fatigue. In fact, indicators of B deficiency include irritability, depression and apathy, so to stave off those symptoms, increase your intake of foods rich in B vitamins. B vitamins are typically found in the germ and bran of cereal grains, as well as beans, peas, nuts, liver, eggs and dairy products.

9. Aromatherapy

In some cases, inhaling certain scents has been shown to have immediate stress relief effects by raising mood, reducing anxiety and aiding focus and concentration. Experts say it’s because the smells can stimulate the limbic system, which in turn releases chemicals that affect the brain, promoting feelings of relaxation, calmness, love and excitement. Popular oils for stress relief and mental fatigue include lavender, cypress and rosemary.

10. Sleep

Sleep is the most important natural stress reducer of them all. Too little sleep leaves us cranky, irritable and on edge. Too much sleep can leave us sluggish and depressed. Try to find the right balance that allows you to feel well-rested and ready for the day. Promote better sleep by establishing bedtime rituals that signal to your brain that it’s time to fall asleep, avoid exercise in the three hours before sleep or take a warm bath. Certain foods can also promote sleep, such as carbohydrates, bananas, peanuts, figs and dairy. These contain tryptophans, a precursor for creating melatonin. However, avoid having a large meal close to bedtime, because it may result in indigestion, reflux or heartburn.

ताकि जंजाल न बने जीवनसाथी का रूठना...

भला कौन ऐसा शख्‍स होगा, जो अपने लाइफ पार्टनर को हमेशा खुश न देखना चाहता हो? खुशियों के आदान-प्रदान के क्रम में कई बार कुछ गिले-शिकवे भी आ जाना स्‍वाभाविक है.
ऐसे में बहुत जरूरी है कि अपने जीवनसाथी की नाराजगी को दूर करने की पूरी कोशिश की जाए. हां, इतना जरूरी ध्‍यान रखना चाहिए कि कोई भी निर्णय विवेक के साथ किया जाए.
रूठने-मनाने का सिलसिला दांपत्‍य जीवन में कड़वाहट न बनकर मिठास साबित हो, इसके लिए कुछ टिप्‍स यहां दिए जा रहे हैं:
-सबसे पहले यह पता करने का प्रयास करें कि आपके जीवनसाथी की नाराजगी की वजह क्‍या है. यह मालूम करने के बाद उस वजह को दूर करने की ईमानदार कोशिश करें.
-अगर आपके किसी व्‍यवहार से ठेस पहुंची हो, तो अहं छोड़कर मनाने में ज्‍यादा देर न करें. याद रखें कि मनाने की पहल करना आपके पार्टनर के दिल को भरपूर सुकून पहुंचाएगा और आपसी प्रेम में और इजाफा ही होगा.
-रूठे हुए लाइफ पार्टनर को मनाने की पहल में देरी आपके रूखे व हठी व्‍यवहार को जाहिर करेगी, जो आगे चलकर रिश्‍ते में कड़वाहट घोलने का काम करेगा.
-अगर रूठने का सिलसिला हर दूसरे-तीसरे दिन शुरू हो जाए, तो इस बारे में अपने साथी को खुले दिमाग से समझाएं. हर मांगें मान लेने की आदत से भी कोई बड़ी समस्‍या खड़ी हो सकती है. 
-बेहतर तरीका तो यह है कि परिवार में कोई अहम निर्णय लेने से पहले न केवल अपने जीवनसाथ को पहले से जानकारी दे दें, बल्कि निर्णय लेने की प्रक्रिया में उन्‍हें भी भागीदार बनाएं. इससे जवाबदेही का बोध पैदा होता है, निर्णय लेने की क्षमता में भी पैनापन आता है. इसका एक फायदा यह भी है कि परिणाम चाहे जैसा भी हो, आत्‍मसंतुष्टि जरूर मिलती है.
तो अब देर किस बात की. हो जाइए तैयार रिश्‍ते में और भी ज्‍यादा मिठास घोलने के लिए...

करना हो निवेश, तो मोहतरमा की राय लीजिए जनाब...

वेतनभोगी महिलाएं अपने पुरुष सहयोगियों की तुलना में कम कर अदा करती हैं. इसकी वजह यह है कि महिलाओं के लिए कर भुगतान का स्लैब जहां पुरुषों की तुलना में ऊंचा है, वहीं वे निवेश करने के मामले में पुरुषों से आगे हैं.
ऑनलाइन आयकर रिटर्न पोर्टल टैक्स स्पैनर की ‘भारत कर अनुपात 2011’ रिपोर्ट में कहा गया है कि प्रमुख भारतीय शहरों में वेतनभोगी महिलाओं का औसत कर अनुपात 4 प्रतिशत है, जबकि पुरुषों के मामले में यह 6 प्रतिशत है. कर अनुपात का मतलब है आमदनी के हिसाब से कर का हिस्सा.
रिपोर्ट में कहा गया है कि 76 प्रतिशत महिलाओं का कर अनुपात 5 प्रतिशत से कम है, जबकि वेतनभोगी पुरुषों के मामले में यह आंकड़ा 59 फीसद का है. यहां कर अनुपात से तात्पर्य वेतन का वह भाग है, जो कर के रूप में अदा किया जाता है.
अध्ययन में दिल्ली एनसीआर, मुंबई, चेन्नई, बेंगलूर और हैदराबाद की करीब 500 कंपनियों के कर्मचारियों को शामिल किया गया है. महिलाओं के कम कर अदा करने की वजह यह है कि उनके लिए आयकर छूट की सीमा कहीं ऊंची 1.90 लाख रुपये है.
इसके अलावा अध्ययन में यह बात भी सामने आई है कि महिलाएं आवास किराया भत्ते का दावा करने तथा स्वास्थ्य खर्च के तहत कटौती लेने के मामले में पुरुषों से बेहतर हैं.
रिपोर्ट में कहा गया है कि प्रमुख मेट्रो शहरों में चेन्नई और दिल्ली एनसीआर का औसत कर अनुपात सबसे कम 5 प्रतिशत है. मुंबई और हैदराबाद में यह 6 प्रतिशत और बेंगलूर में 7 फीसद है.
दिलचस्प यह है कि मुंबई में वेतनभोगियों की आमदनी चेन्नई और दिल्ली एनसीआर के लोगों की तुलना में औसतन 40 प्रतिशत अधिक है. अध्ययन में कहा गया है कि 5 लाख रुपये सालाना तक कमाने वाले वेतनभोगियों में मकान मालिकों का औसत कर अनुपात 2 प्रतिशत है, जबकि जिनके पास मकान नहीं है उनके लिए यह 5 प्रतिशत बैठता है.
ऐसे लोग जिनकी सालाना आय 10 लाख रुपये तक है, उनमें मकान मालिकों के लिए औसत कर अनुपात 12 प्रतिशत और गैर मकान मालिकों के लिए यह 15 प्रतिशत है. टैक्स स्पैनर का कहना है कि कर्मचारी आवास ऋण के तहत मिलने वाली छूट का फायदा उठाकर कर बचा सकते हैं.
रिपोर्ट में कहा गया है कि ऐसे लोग जिनकी आमदनी 5 लाख रुपये सालाना से कम है, उनमें सिर्फ 6.8 प्रतिशत लोगों के पास अपना घर है. इससे यह पता चलता है कि बहुत कम लोग मकान खरीदने को बेहतर निवेश विकल्प मानते हैं.

देखें स्त्रियों को भाते हैं कैसे मर्द...|

आचार्य वात्‍स्‍यायन द्वारा रचित ग्रंथ 'कामसूत्र' में इस बात की विस्‍तार से चर्चा की गई है कि स्त्रियों को रिझाने में किस तरह के पुरुष ज्‍यादा कामयाब होते हैं. भले ही प्राचीन काल में लिखे गए 'सूत्र' अब उतने कारगर हों या नहीं, लेकिन इसे जानने की उत्‍सुकता तो आखिर बनी ही रहती है...

नेतागिरी में पुरुषों से कमतर समझी जाती हैं महिलाएं

महिलाओं ने भले ही जीवन के हर क्षेत्र में काफी प्रगति कर ली हो, लेकिन एक अध्ययन के अनुसार जब नेतृत्व की बात आती है तो समाज को नहीं लगता कि वे नैसर्गिक नेता हो सकती हैं.
नार्थवेस्टर्न विश्वविद्यालय के अनुसंधानकर्ताओं के एक दल के अध्ययन में पाया कि आज भी नेतृत्व को सांस्कृतिक तौर पर पुरुषवादी माना जाता है और महिलाओं द्वारा यह भूमिका निभाया जाना समाज को पसंद नहीं है.
लाइव साइंस में प्रकाशित खबर के अनुसार सफल नेतृत्व के लिए पुरुषवादी गुणों को अनिवार्य माना जाता है. नेतृत्व के बारे में पारंपरिक सोच में पुरुष महिलाओं की तुलना में ज्यादा उपयुक्त बैठते हैं, इसलिए नेतृत्व भूमिकाओं तक उनकी पहुंच ज्यादा होती है और उन्हें सफल बनने के लिए कम चुनौतियों का सामना करना पड़ता है.
अध्ययन दल की जर्नल ऑफ साइकोलोजिकल बुलेटिन में प्रकाशित रिपोर्ट के अनुसार महिलाओं के लिए यह अच्छी बात है कि महिलाओं के नेतृत्व के बारे में लोगों का रवैया बदल रहा है.

समलैंगिक पुरुषों का 'भेद' खोल सकती हैं महिलाएं

बहुत लोग इस बात पर यकीन नहीं करेंगे, लेकिन एक नए शोध में दावा किया गया है कि महिलाओं में ऐसी जन्मजात क्षमता होती है कि वे किसी पुरुष का चेहरा देखकर बता सकती हैं कि वह सामान्य है या समलैंगिक.
टोरंटो यूनिवर्सिटी में शोधकर्ताओं ने अपने शोध में पाया कि महिलाएं जब सही मायने में प्यार के मूड में होती हैं, तो वे बता सकती हैं कि कोई पुरुष समलैंगिक है या नहीं.
अपने शोध में शोधकर्ताओं ने महिलाओं के एक समूह को 80 पुरुषों के फोटो दिखाए और सभी के चेहरे पर एकसमान भाव थे. इन महिलाओं को इन पुरुषों के बारे में कोई किसी प्रकार की जानकारी नहीं दी गयी, लेकिन इन महिलाओं ने एकदम सटीक तरीके से बताया कि कौन सा पुरुष समलैंगिक है और कौन सा सामान्य.
शोध में बताया गया है कि जब महिलाएं रोमांस के मूड में होती हैं या मासिक चक्र के एक विशेष चरण में होती हैं, तो इस संबंध में वे एकदम सही अंदाजा लगाती हैं.
डेली एक्सप्रेस में प्रकाशित रिपोर्ट में कहा गया है कि इसका कारण महिलाओं की वह सदियों पुरानी पूर्वाभास क्षमता और जैविकीय जरूरत है, जिसके तहत वे बच्चे पैदा करने के लिए अपने साथी का चुनाव करती हैं.

अब एक और भाषा में 'कामसूत्र' का अनुवाद...

यौन कला और उसके अन्य पहलुओं को समेटती मशहूर विषयवस्तु ‘कामसूत्र’ का रूस में बोली जाने वाली उदमुर्त भाषा में अनुवाद किया गया है. उदमुर्त भाषा में अनुवाद कवि-लेखक पिओत्र जाखारोव की ओर से किया गया है. उनके मुताबिक यह अनुवाद उनके लिए आसान नहीं था, क्योंकि उदमुर्त भाषा में यौन से जुड़ी शब्दावली विस्तृत नहीं है.
इस अनुवाद को प्रकाशित करने वाले प्रकाशन समूह की निदेशक लारिसा ओरेखोवा ने कहा, ‘‘उदमुर्त भाषा में कामसूत्र का यह पहला प्रकाशन होगा, क्योंकि और किसी में इतना उत्साह नहीं होगा कि वह इसका अनुवाद करे.’’
उदमुर्त भाषा रूस के उदमुर्तिया गणराज्य में बोली जाती है. इस भाषा को बोलने वालों की संख्या लगभग पांच लाख है.

50 से शुरू होती है महिलाओं की बेहतरीन जिंदगी...

आपको यह सुनकर शायद आश्चर्य हो लेकिन महिलाओं की बेहतरीन जिंदगी पचास की उम्र से शुरु होती है. एक सर्वेक्षण से पता चला है कि महिलाओं की जिंदगी के बेहतरीन साल पचास की उम्र के बाद शुरु होते हैं और 92 प्रतिशत महिलाओं का मानना है कि वह इससे पहले इतनी खुश कभी नहीं रहीं.
सर्वेक्षण में पता चला कि पांच में से चार महिलाओं को लगता है कि वह उतना सेक्सी महसूस करती है जितना 20 के दशक में करतीं थीं. विवाहित या अन्य पुरूष के साथ रह रही 86 प्रतिशत महिलाओं का कहना है कि ‘उनका यौन जीवन 20 के दशक से कहीं बेहतर है.’
डेली एक्सप्रेस की रिपोर्ट के मुताबिक युअर्स पत्रिका ने करीब 2000 प्रौढ़ महिलाओं पर यह सर्वेक्षण किया. सर्वेक्षण में पाया गया कि 50 के पार की चार में तकरीबन तीन महिलाओं को लगता है ‘परेशान अभिभावक बनने से ज्यादा मजा कहीं भी जाने के लिए आजाद दादी-नानी बनने में है.’
हालांकि उनमें से कुछ जरूर ‘बूढी दिखने को लेकर’ चिंतित थीं जबकि 70 प्रतिशत ने कहा कि यदि उन्हें कॉस्मेटिक चिकित्सा का प्रस्ताव मिला तो वे इसे ठुकरा देंगी.

‘आलिंगन’ पसंद करते हैं पुरुष लेकिन महिलाओं को...

आमतौर पर माना जाता है कि पुरुष सेक्स के लिए उतावले रहते हैं लेकिन एक नये शोध के नतीजे बिल्कुल अलग ही कहानी बयां कर रहे हैं कि पुरुष लंबे समय तक रिश्ते बनाए रखने में खुशी महसूस करते हैं जबकि महिलाएं सेक्स को प्राथमिकता देती हैं.
इंडियाना विश्वविद्यालय के शोधकर्ताओं ने पाया कि महिलाओं के मुकाबले पुरुष आलिंगन और चुंबन को ज्यादा पसंद करते हैं. वहीं दूसरी ओर महिलाएं सेक्स के प्रति ज्यादा उत्सुक रहती हैं.
इस शोध की प्रमुख जूलिया हेइमैन ने कहा कि इन ताजा नतीजों की वजह यह है कि रिश्ते के शुरूआती 15 वर्ष में महिलाएं बच्चों के पालन पोषण में व्यस्त रहने के कारण ज्यादा भावनात्मक होती हैं लेकिन जैसे जैसे समय बीतता जाता है उनके ऊपर से दबाव कम होता जाता है.
इस महिला ने कहा, ‘यह संभव है कि समय बीतने के साथ महिलाओं को ज्यादा यौन संतुष्टि मिलने लगती है क्योंकि बच्चों के बड़े होने के साथ उनकी उम्मीदें और जीवन बदलता है.’ यह अध्ययन पांच देशों के के एक हजार से अधिक दंपत्तियों पर किया गया है जिनकी उम्र 40 से 70 के बीच थी.

आफिस में फ्लर्ट करने वालों से सावधान

जब कोई कार्यालय सहयोगी आपके साथ फ्लर्ट करता है तो आप इस खुशफहमी में न रहें कि आप ही कार्यालय में सबसे सुंदर महिलाकर्मी हैं. इसके विपरीत ऐसे पुरुष सहकर्मियों से सावधान रहें क्योंकि एक शोध कहता है कि वे अपनी बोरियत भगाने के लिए कार्यालय में फ्लर्ट करते हैं और निजी जीवन में असंतुष्ट रहते हैं.
सूरे विश्वविद्यालय में शोधकर्ताओं ने 21 से 68 साल आयु वर्ग के बीच के दो सौ से अधिक महिला और पुरुषों का सर्वेक्षण किया और उनसे पूछा कि क्या वे कार्यालय में फ्लर्ट करते हैं. शोध में यह चौंकाने वाली बात सामने आयी कि ऐसे पुरुष जीवन, रोजगार में कम संतुष्ट होते हैं.
शोध में भाग लेने वालों में वकील, स्टाक ब्रोकर, चैरिटी कार्यकर्ता तथा नौकरशाह शामिल थे. उनसे उनके व्यक्तित्व , नौकरी तथा कार्यालय में मेहनत से किए जाने वाले काम को लेकर सवाल किए गए.
इस शोध के परिणामों में महिलाओं और पुरुषों के बीच साफ भेद नजर आया. फ्लर्ट करने वाली महिलाएं भी अपनी नौकरी से उतनी ही संतुष्ट थीं जितनी वे महिलाएं जो कार्यालय में पूरी तरह कड़े पेशेवराना संबंध रखती थीं.
लेकिन इसके विपरीत फ्लर्ट करने वाले पुरुष अपने रोजगार, व्यक्तित्व आदि से संतुष्ट नहीं थे. शोधकर्ता चाडी मूसा ने कहा, ‘पिछले शोधों में यह दिखाया गया था कि लोग विभिन्न कारणों से फ्लर्ट करते हैं जिनमें आत्म गौरव को बढ़ाना, मजा करना और रोमांस करना शामिल था.’
उन्होंने कहा, ‘यदि पुरुष अपनी भूमिका से असंतुष्ट महसूस करते हैं तो वे खुद को खुशमिजाज रखने के लिए फ्लर्ट करते हैं और यह एक प्रकार से रिश्तों की नकारात्मक परिभाषा है.’
उन्होंने कहा, ‘फ्लर्ट करने के फायदे हो सकते हैं लेकिन कार्यालय में जरूरत से अधिक फ्लर्ट इस बात का संकेत है कि आप अपनी नौकरी से असंतुष्ट हैं और बोरियत का शिकार हैं.’

पार्टी में महिलाओं को लुभाइए अपने आकर्षण से

लोग अक्‍सर पार्टियों में जाते हैं और किसी ना किसी पर लट्टू हो जाते हैं. ये जाने बगैर कि सामने वाला उनके बारे में क्‍या सोच रहा है, वो मन ही मन खयाली पुलाव पकाना शुरू कर देते हें. और अंत में उनके हाथ कुछ नहीं लगता. ऐसे में कुछ खास बातें हैं जिनका ध्‍यान रखकर आप पार्टियों में महिलाओं को अपनी ओर आ‍कर्षित कर सकते हैं.
अगर कोई महिला आपकी तरफ घूर रही है तो याद रखें कि घूरने का मतलब यह नहीं है कि वह आपको दोस्त बनाने के लिए बुला रही है. कोई भी महिला आपमें दोस्त भी ढूंढ सकती है. बॉडी लैंगवेज एक्सपर्ट भारत दूदाकिया के अनुसार अगर वह आपको मैसेज भेजना चाहती है तो वह आपको लगातार देखेगी. कॉस्मोपॉलिटन इंडिया की संपादक पायल पुरी का कहना है कि अगर वह बोल्ड है तो वह आपसे आंखों का संपर्क बनाएगी.
अगर वह गंभीर है तो वह आपको सिर्फ देखेगी. आपके पहले मिलने पर वह यह देखेगी कि आप कैसे मैच अप होकर आएं हैं. यूएस बॉडी लैंगवेज एक्सपर्ट मार्क सलेम के अनुसार उसके हाव-भाव के अनुसार आप ज्यादा स्ट्रॉंग बनने की कोशिश न करें. उसकी फिजिकल टोन को पहचानें, अगर वह जोश में है तो आप भी जोश दिखाइए.
सीधे खड़े हों और गुस्सा मत दिखाइए और लगातार आंखों का संपर्क उससे बनाए रखें लेकिन ध्यान रखें कि आप बार-बार अपने बालों में हाथ न फेरें. पुरी के अनुसार रुकावटें आपके बिजनेस में मदद कर सकती हैं लेकिन जब नहीं जब आप नए दोस्त बना रहे हों, तब नहीं.
अगर आप अपनी ड्रिंक को नीचे नहीं रख सकते तो उसे अपने लेफ्ट साइड में रखिए और अपने सीधे हाथ को आमंत्रण और परिचय के लिए रखिए. बार टेबल और स्केवेयर टेबल आपके और उसके बीच में रुकावट का काम करेगी.
और खासकर तब, जब आप किसी मिहला को पहली बार मिल रहे हैं. गोल टेबल आपके और उसके बीच में अंतरंगता बढ़ाएगी और आपके और उसके बीच की दूरियों को कम करेगी. आपको लग रहा है कि वो आपको पसंद कर रही है.
लेकिन आप कैसे जानेंगे कि वह आपमें सच में रुचि ले रही है. सलेम का कहना है कि अगर अपना सिर अपने कंधों की ओर झुका ले और वह अपनी गर्दन को ढ़ीला छोड़ दे. पुरी के अनुसार तो समझो वह आप पर विश्वास करती है. उसकी आंखों में आपको असली चमक दिखेगी.

When to Kiss on a Date?

So you have a date tonight. You have been dating him the fifth time now and still you are not confident that you want to kiss him. Well that's ok. There is no hard and fast rule that you have to kiss your date. Kissing is not just being romantically linked with a person. It is trusting a person and wanting to be with him. It is all a matter of connecting with that person. So if you are not comfortable with kissing him then don't.

Often it happens that you want to kiss your date but you are nervous and not confident that your date wants to kiss you. In such circumstances don't be hasty. Try to learn more about him, keep the conversation going and maintain good eye contact. Maintaining eye contact will help you read the other person's mind and just go with the flow. The thing to remember is that the kiss will come much more easily if you're on the same wavelength as your date before you attempt it. So just keep the conversation going, gaze into each other's eyes for long periods of time, and let the excitement mount between you. Plenty of eye contact will get you in tune with each other so that the kiss seems like the natural thing to do.

Five Golden Rules:

1. Never appear reserved or disoriented on a date. You will just mess     up everything.
2. Always maintain proper, truthful and sincere eye contact.
3. Be confident and open but be yourself.
4. Relax and let things take their own time.
5. And don't keep your eyes open when you are kissing.

Are You In Love?

Love is so complex that it is really difficult to explain it. It is such a strange, wonderful experience that nobody really has codified what it is yet. Thus it is one of the most difficult questions to answer. One of the most common questions you ask yourself is "How do you know if it is really love?" How do you find out that the emotions that you have for a person is love and not just anything else. Love has many forms so it is quite possible that you may be confused while deciding whether you love a person or not. Well though this is a difficult and tricky job but I will try to answer the question as to how you know it is love.
Well to begin with I would suggest that you gather yourself together and ask yourself a few questions.

• Do you like being with this person?
• Do you feel excited when you think about him?
• Do you miss him when he is not around?
• Do you want to spend the rest of your life with him?
• Do you think about him all the time and wish he were around?
• Do you think life without him will be impossible?
• Do you wait for the moment when you go to meet him?

Well if these questions have an affirmative answer then congrats you are crazily in love with your partner. Thus if you love a person you want to always be with that person. You would want to share your joy as well as pain with that person and live your whole life with him. You not only make him a part of your life but also want to be a part of his life forever. You can almost feel what he feels and see what he sees and think what he thinks. You life revolves around him and life without him is impossible. This is love.

However you have to really feel love and it is only you who can recognize your love. Being overly dependent on the other person is not love. Some people fall into the trap of thinking they love someone just because they are afraid to be alone. They have become dependent on the other person so much that they don't know how to make it on their own and cant imagine a life without the company of that person. This is definitely not love.

Thus to recognize love you have to be confident in your own ability and your own judgment and most important is you have to love yourself first. You have to know what you can offer to that person and whether you are willing to live with him forever. Just trust yourself and your heart.

How to tell if he likes you

You are dating this guy and you think he is cool. You want to go a step further in the relationship but you are not sure as to what he thinks about it. He gives you mix signals about where you stand in the relationship. Well here are a few tips that will help you to know as to whether he is still flirting with you in his own guy-way or he really likes you.

A lot also depends on the type of guy and his individual personality.

Shy Guys

• He will never look at you directly. You may feel like he is watching but its hard to catch him at that.
• He'll look at you, until you turn around, then boom, he's looking the other way.
• He may be desperately trying to win your attention or speak with you but he doesn't have the guts to do it.
• He may ask a friend of yours about you - he'll say it's just for "friend of mine" that wants to know about you.
• He talks to everybody else - but when you're around he turns silent, or chokes up.
• You seem to accidentally bump into him a lot of different places.
• He'll give you a little smile from across the room, but if you get near, he won't look up.
• All this shows that he likes you very much but he is too shy to approach you and tell you how he feels about you. If you are still confused then here a DEAD giveaway - when you talk to him he turns red. (Bingo - you have your man !!)
  

Normal Guys

• He remembers little things you mention in casual conversation. It may take you by surprise. You might have been casually talking when he was around and two weeks later he'll say, "Well, you like strawberry milkshake"
• His voice changes when he talks to you in a group. He may say "Hey." to everyone with you, but the "Hey." to you is a little different.
• His voice gets softer when the two of you talk.
• Sometimes he stares straight into your eyes.
• His eyes get 'soft' when he looks at you.
• He watches your lips. (Dead give away.)
• He tells you that you smell nice.

First Date Tips

So finally your dream man has asked you out on a date. Well there are a few tips that will be handy in order for you to continue the relationship and go out for the second date.

Follow the following suggestions if you want a second date.

• First and foremost DON'T ask him if you look fat. This is not the time to ask for such questions. Now is the time when you should get to know each other and understand one another. So don't embarrass yourself and well as your date by asking such questions. And lets face it he will never tell the truth anyways.
• DONT be nervous and hesitant. Men like a woman who is comfortable with herself and if you sit in front of him chewing your kerchief or pushing a piece of iceberg lettuce around your plate he will just think that you are self-obsessed and dull. Start a conversation and ask him about his work, hobbies etc.
• DON'T rabble on all night about your ex-boyfriend. He wanted to know about your past affair just tell him that its over and it did not work out. Don't keep on telling him what went wrong and things or else he will think that you still want to continue with your ex-boyfriend or think that you are entering into a relationship with him to get over your past experience. So avoid doing that and pay attention to the man in front of you.
• DON'T ask him about marriage and children on the first date itself. Lets face it men are a bit nervous of the M-word. Most men feel like they have made a commitment when they ask you out for a whole dinner instead of just a quick drink. Talking marriage, babies and responsibilities will make him nervous and that will spoil your date.
• Last but not the least DONT have sex with him on the first date. Even if he is drop dead gorgeous (and of course he probably is otherwise why would you have gone out with him in the first place) resist, resist, resist! The old saying is 'will he still respect you in the morning?' Probably not! Besides, much like an ice-cream binge… it will probably leave you feeling somewhat ashamed and quite a lot guilty!

Dating Ideas

What would a perfect date be? Well everyone has there own way of planning things for the first date but if you are really confused as to what you should do then here are a few tips that will make your first date simply perfect.

• Plan a dinner and then go for a movie. This will be perfect idea 'coz you will have to spend time together and know each other and watching movie together will bring the two of you closer and will provide the perfect atmosphere to just get used to each other without having to talk too much.
• Go on a picnic together.
• Take a walk in the park together holding hands and getting to know each other.
• Go out together, spend time in a coffee shop and get to know each other better.
• Walk along the beach at night.
• Go out to eat, watch a movie, have a moonlight walk on the beach and end the evening with the perfect kiss.
• Go out dancing together.
• Lying by the fireplace with romantic music and taking candlelight dinner under the stars.

Getting Started Dating

In a dating game what is most important is being noticed. The first step to getting a date is actually getting noticed by someone!

Following are a few tips that will be useful to you in a dating scene.

• Always carry a smile

They say "smile and it increases your face value". Basically everyone is typically attracted to someone who makes them feel good about themselves, or who helps them forget the tensions of life, even if it is for a small time. A smile is an excellent icebreaker, and when given to people you'd like to talk to, it makes an excellent approach and your work is half done.

• Take time to look great

Believe it or not but looks do matter a lot in dating game. Thus if you wanna get noticed and be the centre of attraction you must spend some time on yourself to look your best. . Use this to your advantage and wear flattering clothes, colours and hairstyles.

• Make eye contact

Eye contact can be a very powerful unspoken communication. It can give lots of unspoken signals that will make your goal easier. Thus if you use this tool properly, you can create a sense of appeal, mystery and allure.

• Use your sense of humour

Sense of humour is something that will make you stand out and be noticed everywhere. Laughter makes people forget about their tensions and problems. If you can do that, you'll not only stand out, but you'll leave a lasting impression.

• Look good and feel good

What is the most important thing that is required is self-confidence and appearance. People very often jump to conclusions as to whether you are, or aren't their type by how you are dressed and on your overall appearance. Thus to succeed in your conquest you should definitely be dressed neatly and appropriately and also walk with an air of confidence in you. Without confidence, you are more likely to make a fool out of yourself than start a relationship.

• Starting a conversation

Once you mark your target the next step is to talk to him. One approach in selecting a conversation starter is to look at the person minutely and find something interesting about him, and then comment or ask him about it. When doing this, try to find out the type of person he is. Is he an extrovert or introvert, what does he do mostly; if alone in the room what catches his interest, etc. When you do go and talk to him, try to be as original as possible and choose a topic that you have some knowledge and/or interest in. If you are asked something about which you have no knowledge at all be frank enough to tell him that and don't make a fool of yourself by bluffing your way through. This is where confidence also plays a huge part.

• Be yourself

This is most important. Try to be yourself and don't ape anyone or be someone who you really are not. Don't try to impress him by being something you are not, or by showing him something you think he wants to see. Show him your true self. The strongest and deepest bonds are built upon honesty and truth. Don't try to fool anyone 'coz sooner or later he will find out and that will not be a good thing.

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